PEPE
S
OR IS HE?
o... many of us know of the adorable Pepe... perching in his cuteness upon your head when you happen across him. He is a lovely addition to the Warcraft universe. A celebrated icon. Benign and precious.
The "creators" of Pepe claim that the cute little bird is an inter-dimensional traveler, able to be in multiple places at once and even capable of traveling through time. This is suspiciously convenient... why would a benign creature need such OP abilities? What is he hiding?
Why does Pepe need armor? What battles is he planning to fight? Is he friend or foe? Fury or Arms?
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I submit to you, dear friends, the truth (?) about this little bird you so willingly allow to accompany you on your adventures through Azeroth.
You are certainly not prepared...
It is speculated that Pepe is behind the revolt of the God King Skovald against Odyn. Skovald may have demanded the Aegis of Aggramar, but it was the darling Pepe that may have planted the seeds of corruption and mutiny in the ear of the King of the Vyrkul.
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Gul'dan corrupting him with the offer of glory with the Legion?
I submit that it was not.
Theorists also offer that Pepe was a key conspirator in the abduction of a young King Varian Wrynn of Stormwind by Defias Pirates. See, the Defias Brotherhood was informed of a diplomatic mission to Theramore. Informed by a spy rumored to reside within Stormwind.
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Was that spy Pepe?
Here we see suspicious evidence that Pepe and Defias leader Edwin VanCleef were - in fact - friendly.
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To take the jump to the bird being an integral part of the kidnapping of Varian Wrynn could not be considered at all unreasonable by the shrewd observer...
And was it a random Legion trash mob that struck Vol'jin, Warchief and one of the only cool Horde leaders, with the poisoned blade that would end his life?
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What if it was Pepe, stealthed and out to make a crazy bitch like Sylvanas Warchief?
Were Pepe and the Dark Lady in cahoots?
Wouldn't it be far better for the late Chieftain of the Darkspears and Master of the Shadows to have died to a conspiring Pepe instead of trash?!
Then - of course - we ALL know of the dastardly plot to infect the water supply of Gotham City with a fear toxin that would be released into the air upon mass evaporation. A city striken with panic will never forget the terrifying night of hallucinated horror that could only be qwelled by local guards and a masked vigilante.
Look at this malicious plan executed... for shame Pepe...
But there's more...
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Here we see photographic proof of Pepe consorting with the likes of Lich King Arthas Menethil. Was it Pepe that whispered tales of madness and led the young paladin to seek out the soul devouring Frostmourne?
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Was it Pepe who advised Arthas to cull the citizens of Stratholme while seemingly innocently riding about upon his head?
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Did Pepe tell Arthas to reveal the location of the Skull of Gul'dan to Illidan in order to corrupt my bae?!
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DID PEPE TELL ARTHAS NOT TO GIVE ME FUCKING INVINCIBLE FOR FOUR GODDAMN YEARS?!?!
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I find it likely.
The treachery may run deeper...
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Here we see Pepe in the good graces of Deathwing, the defiled Aspect of Earth himself. Perhaps it was the adorable bird that suggested tearing Azeroth to shit.
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Perhaps, as a inter-dimensional time traveler, Pepe went back to the War of the Ancients and planted the seeds of rage and insanity that led Neltharion to break up the band...
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Is Pepe the Yoko Ono of Warcraft?!
OR WORSE!
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DID PEPE CREATE THE PANDAREN?
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IS HE RESPONSIBLE FOR MISTS OF PANDARIA?!?
IS GUL'DAN
ACTUALLY PEPE?!?!
All we know for certain is that the monstrous Pepe has been recently sighted with Hisoka and Killushot, known aliases of the dastardly Paul. A well known asshole and sloote who delights in being deliciously evil...
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The proof is laid out before you my friends.
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I leave the acceptance of the truth to you...
DISCLAIMER
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The only cannon in this mindless rant is that Pepe rides on your head, he is an inter-dimensional traveler, he is fucking adorable,
and Paul is an asshole and sloote.